As social media has arisen as the greatest aggregation tool of human wisdom in the history of the world, I thought it only fitting to take a moment at the end of the year to share all of the great lessons that I learned in 2014 from Facebook memes:
1. I should do whatever I want and not care what others think because my opinion is the only one that matters. I should also do everything I can to make others happy because friendship is the most important thing in life. As are sympathetic spouses. And children. And college football.
2. White cops are villainous racists and underappreciated crusaders of justice, and anyone who thinks otherwise is obviously just an ignorant hater.
3. Government is the cause and cure of all of life’s problems. As is religion. And beer. And Facebook.
4. That one guy with that one job should really be thanked because you don’t appreciate him enough for everything he does and stuff.
5. The Dallas Cowboys are overrated and still amazing.
6. Jesus won’t notice your nasty sexual posts if you break them up with Bible verses and statements about how saved you are.
7. If you don’t share this, you’re obviously a fake friend.
8. Star Wars.