The following Chuck Norris facts result from my own meticulous research.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked Peppermint Patty for taking his name in vain.
- It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Chuck Norris delivering a flying roundhouse-kick to Superman!
- A government official once offered Chuck Norris a license to kill. Chuck Norris killed him for daring to think he needed a license.
- When Chuck Norris was a baby, a mother wolf tried to raise him as her own. But then he ate her.
- Chuck Norris has 26 Y-chromosomes. If he ever had an X-chromosome, it ran away in fear long ago.
- It does not take two to tango. Chuck Norris can tango alone. Not that he ever would.
- Every week, Chuck Norris donates 20 gallons of blood to the Red Cross. Some of it is his own.
- When Chuck Norris is around, Tony Bennett sings on-melody.
- Chuck Norris eats tuna-safe dolphin. Got a problem with that?
- On Black Friday, Chuck Norris doesn’t go shopping. He just tramples people.
- Chuck Norris once chased down a Ferrari on horseback. (It’s true. It was on Walker – Texas Ranger.) Afterward, a reporter said that wasn’t realistic. Chuck Norris admitted that the horse was actually unnecessary and roundhouse-kicked the reporter in the face.