Chuck Norris Facts

The following Chuck Norris facts result from my own meticulous research.
  1. Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked Peppermint Patty for taking his name in vain.
  2. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Chuck Norris delivering a flying roundhouse-kick to Superman!
  3. A government official once offered Chuck Norris a license to kill. Chuck Norris killed him for daring to think he needed a license.
  4. When Chuck Norris was a baby, a mother wolf tried to raise him as her own. But then he ate her.
  5. Chuck Norris has 26 Y-chromosomes. If he ever had an X-chromosome, it ran away in fear long ago.
  6. It does not take two to tango. Chuck Norris can tango alone. Not that he ever would.
  7. Every week, Chuck Norris donates 20 gallons of blood to the Red Cross. Some of it is his own.
  8. When Chuck Norris is around, Tony Bennett sings on-melody.
  9. Chuck Norris eats tuna-safe dolphin. Got a problem with that?
  10. On Black Friday, Chuck Norris doesn’t go shopping. He just tramples people.
  11. Chuck Norris once chased down a Ferrari on horseback. (It’s true. It was on Walker – Texas Ranger.) Afterward, a reporter said that wasn’t realistic. Chuck Norris admitted that the horse was actually unnecessary and roundhouse-kicked the reporter in the face.